Monday, 20 January 2014 @ 19:14 0 stares
I keep telling myself that I have this warrior façade on, that I won’t and shan’t
fall in like or let boys make my hearts go a flutter but the truth is that I am
awfully lonely and a bloody hopeless romantic. I’m like frayed socks out in the bitter snow. I
caged my feelings but the lock is
nothing but rusty and my secrets are spilling out like reckless debris. I told myself never to render myself
vulnerable but I’m an open book. People read my eyes and know that somewhere along
the way, I got hit by a freight train. I live for accidents because the
unplanned things always turn out the loveliest. You find love in the oddest of
times and sadness in the unlikeliest places. If you’re exceptionally lucky, you
stumble upon happiness. But for some reason I got caught up in a thunderstorm
and never quite recovered. My mind is impaled with stale hopes of me being
draped in the warmth of your embrace. I’ve given up on those dreams but they
never really left me. That confuses me endlessly. These days I dream of boys
whose faces I can never register but whose lips craved mine without question.
They never paused or stopped or hesitated. They don’t worry
about whether or not I’m half mad or terribly sad or extremely bad. They hung
to my every word like their life depended on it. As it turns out, I had a lot
to say. I just never really found my voice. It was like having a love affair
with myself and I liked the idea of being able to do something I have struggled
with for the longest time. For now I’m desperate to forget you because the
brutal truth is that I’m weak. I want to be
strong. I want temporarily love faceless boys who love me and whom I forget
when I no longer feel lonely. I want to be selfish for once because God knows
it never really did me much good being selfless. I want to stop beating myself
up. I want these bruises and wounds to heal because scars are the very
foundation of a fighter’s existence. I am a fighter, not a train wreck.
------Poetry Challenge shall resume soon, sorry about the hiatus- I have been terribly lazy and uninspired as of late------